Is Procrastination contagious?

If there is one thing that I can do well, it's procrastinate. I'm not kidding, I am literally the master of this. I've made it into an art form, a way of life, an hilarious aside from the absolute low it can cause.
And today, I superseded any 'Best Procrastinator' world record, because I passed it on. I passed it on in the same way that I do love, smiles, kindness. But maybe also in the same way I could pass on a cold, a quick sneeze.I did it as a joke, a chat, a giggle.

Now, I know it's time to stop.
I'm a starter, a brain stormer. I'm the best person to get a project going, to get the ideas flowing, to give people good ideas and to think differently. I'm inspiring. I make my friends happy and the people I meet. I give such good advice and seriously love the hell out of the world and everything in it. I give everyone the motivation, apart from me of course. I have fifteen blog posts in the draft section on here and haven't posted because of 'time' or 'research' or any one of the billion excuses I have saved in my 'procrastinators handbook' (which funnily enough I haven't got round to writing).

Today, I persuaded one of my very, very best friends on this earth, to not do something that she absolutely really, seriously, absolutely and properly MUST do. I did it in about three sentences. I passed on something that literally at times has ruined my life to the point of having one of the worst panic attacks I've ever had which ironically, maybe, took place on this very best friend's bedroom floor.

I've given my friend, someone I care about beyond myself, an excuse to carry on doing something that makes her unhappy! Why would I do that?

Of course I didn't do it on purpose, I wouldn't. I'm not sure where it came from, I think I was empathising but instead of putting myself in her shoes 'when the job is finished' which she would always do for me, I put myself in the shoes of 'what a daunting task that is'.
She decided there and then, in the light of what I said, to not do it, for all the reasons I had joked about.

I've changed a lot lately, I've made lists, goals, and actually achieved them. I've changed my mindset about a lot of the stuff that has sent me crazy over the last 30 odd years, but, the habit is still there, and I'm passing it on. Procrastination is a double edged sword, to be fair. I have gained some genuinely good skills. Give me an hour to do something, or an emergency situation, I'm on it. I'm good. I've had lots of practice. I can focus and achieve in that situation. Give me a month, you're pushing it, give me three.....no chance:)

So, to my friend.

"You must do that job. If you don't, you will be unhappy. I want you to be as happy as you can be. I will help you do that job because it will be fun if we do it together."

If I'm going to live in the 'now' and get to where I'm headed, I want everyone around me to feel the same.

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Does anyone else find such solace in an IKEA catalogue?

There is something about the 'IKEA' catalogue, landing on your doorstep. Well something for me anyway. 
This year it was solitary.. A stand out 'fresh off the press' edition of this years furniture catalogue. There on my doorstep, like no other. Some years, it's hidden from view, a stealthy surprise,  under a pile of bills and flyers from estate agents 'looking for property in your area' and envelopes with deceptive hand written fonts that lull you for an uber second into 'I got real mail' security. 
I find it..and I'm excited. Disproportionately so. 

On my 'to do' list. Change the world, buy a dishwasher, create an Egyptian masterpiece.

Good day to you.

It's been a tough few weeks. New Year didn't go quite as planned...which kind of set the bar. I've needed to but avoided blogging because as you know I do like a positive spin on things and this was challenging even for me.
I managed it though - of course - *smiley face*  #challenge accepted.

In the midst of chaos you will, I  am sure, be pleased to hear that I pulled off another blinding kids costume with only hours notice...Egyptian...headdress and all! Nothing one can't do with a cereal box and a bit of paint. Job done. Happy days.

Being a 'Mum's taxi'? You're very welcome!

It kinda feels weird tipping up at the end of a gig.  

The bands getting their gear into vans and sweaty, exhausted fans outside still buzzing from what you've just missed. I do this quite often, come in at the end, to pick up my son from gigs all over the place. I never mind. 

I love how he doesn't stop talking on the way home, telling me all about it...'The drummer did this...we chatted to the vocalist....the pits were sick....' It makes me so happy to hear his passion for music.

You don't know the half of it....but I finally do!

Life can be challenging, that's for sure, and let's face it we wouldn't want it any other way. I have learnt a lot  over the last couple of weeks (yes even at my age)! I've learnt that single mums, mums, parents, are completely undervalued by society. We are the bomb!

When I get to work in the morning I have done a full day's work to get there. It is all about digging deep and I dig deep every day! My life should be the basis of a BBC 9pm Friday night sitcom. It has a farcical quality equal to Fawlty Towers.

The last few days have been difficult, many many children off school with a bug that took ME down, Ricky Hatton (or to keep it more relevant David Haye) style! (He's a boxer...right hook..left hook..etc. get my drift?)

Yesterday, and today I have been working from home. It sounds so easy but it really isn't. I was writing about unbelievably awesome rock legends whilst negotiating a full scale war in my living room over Scuzz TV versus CBBC as well as taking one to college who had 'missed' i.e. couldn't be arsed to get the bus as Mum is working from home therefore can take me to college.

It's a learning curve, I tell myself often, in fact 'character building' is the phrase I use. I have a meeting with my bank manager on Saturday I wonder how character building that will be.

My point is, I feel I really ought to get to it, that we need to change the way we look at people! Seriously!

If you are unfortunate enough to see me leave my car on the school run or nip to the local shop (I love my local shop, they don't bat an eyelid) in the morning, you will judge me without even meaning to!

I don't blame you I just ask that you take your judgement and stick it somewhere inappropriate and dark. You look at me differently when I am out for the evening and speak to me in shades of difference if you have seen me in work or chatted to me via email. You don't know I have five children and sometimes do the school run in my pyjamas, so you treat me quite favourably, without bias and often flirt!

I am not bantering on as a single mum, or a woman, parent or any other label. My point is...you just do not know what the person in front of you has just been through, so if their hair is uncombed (sorry what? a comb?) or they have a frown on, or they don't manage their usual smile that morning (or afternoon) take a second to think. It makes no difference to their skills, value or worth.

Rant over....

In other news...

Just realised I haven't shared my awesome news I left you with last time....so easy to get waylaid.

I found my (half) brother a few weeks ago.. a brother who I vaguely knew may exist throughout my childhood but had that confirmed recently. It really is the nicest thing. I grew up as an only child and now in my forties I discover my slightly younger brother. He is lovely. He doesn't look like me at all but looking at photos, there is one of him when he was about five that could be me! It's kind of weird but it's made my year! One really doesn't know the half of it...but I kind of do now... 

Don't judge and stay safe!

Not my usual post but a review I did on Tumblr for a really good gig I went to so I thought I'd put it on here anyway.

Secrets, Memphis May Fire and OM&Men Electric Ballroom Camden 10/10/2012

I’ve been to lots of gigs in my time but this was one of the best. The Electric Ballroom was a great venue a good size but retaining the intimacy of a smaller venue.
‘Secrets’ opened the set and as they started playing the floor filled quickly and the moshpit was as furious as you’d usually expect from later in the set. Everyone there was ‘up for it’ without a doubt. ‘Secrets’ set was fantastic, the band were great performers and began the evening with a bang.
Next up and after a soundcheck worth mentioning “Shit one two..Shit Shit Shit one two one two..” Memphis May Fire leaped on Stage and Matty Mullins appeared to a roar, the hands were in the air..and a few bodies too. They were awesome, the whole crowd sang and screamed every lyric to ‘Vices.’ ‘The Victim’ opened the pit up which at one point nearly took over the whole floor. At this point it was Insane in a really fucking good way. Matty Mullins was just perfect. This is a good start to their tour.
This was the first time I had seen any of these bands live and after Memphis I had no idea what to expect from the headline act. The gig was one of my best ever already.
I moved forward in anticipation of the arrival of the next band.
Of Mice &Men were greeted with a wave of screams and an utter outpouring of love that I’ve only witnessed at stadium and festival gigs. The London crowd drank Austin onto the stage who presented upwards in a halo of smoke and light. I don’t have many words for the rest of the night. Austin and the band give absolutely everything they have when they are on Stage and they expect the fans to give their all…and we bloody did.
Austin insisted that every single one of us got down on our knees for ‘The Depths’ the only time for a minute or two that the pit dissolved into a sea of people on their knees and the tall iconic figure of Austin towered over us…the song raged the crowd launched up and the frenzy resumed.
“One more song! One more song!” was the chant. We all knew what was coming when they came back on. “This is your song, this is your fucking song. I want you and you and you and fucking all of you to sing it” So we did. ‘Second and Sebring’ pulled me to the front of the crowd and that song that has such personal lyrics resonated with everyone in that room.

The UK loves these bands. Fans in the UK are like no other. The lights came on and the bruised and a bit bloodied crowd left. It doesn’t get much better.

Turning Forty - and that's not the main event! Watch this space..

So, I turned 40. That actually happened. I am now that age. Which luckily for me seems to be the new 30 apparently.
I celebrated with a night out, a joint adventure with an old friend from school, turned out rather well even though it involved a fluffy flashing tiara with the number 40 in diamante and several Jaeger bombs.

I know the band played a Red Hot Chili Peppers song and that made me happy.
What made me happier was the company, all the friends old and new that showed up and how fab it was to see them all.
I had a feeling that 2012 was going to be an eventful year and it's not over yet, but already so much has changed. It feels like it's all good and there have been dark times but from those shadows came strength and wisdom. I'm old enough to have wisdom now..
A few mornings ago with about five minutes to go till our time to leave for work school and childminder, I was in the hallway drying my sons school trousers with a hairdryer when one of my other sons announced that he had to dress as a Victorian that day. So I cut up a t shirt! That is a top tip by the way, it never fails on any dress up occasion. It then occurred to me that I had an incredible resourcefulness about me. This was a change from my usual thought pattern... usually involving running away with the circus..and that was a positive affirmation right there!
You may be wondering why I don't seem to be on my soap box this eve don't worry I shall continue to blog with that in mind. I have lots to moan about of course but there's a time and a place..
Anyway, watch this space, really do, because pretty much the main event of the entire year happened this evening and I can not wait to share it with you. Just have to share it with a few others first.
,

The Olympics, Music and the mental health of David Cameron

Well Hello...

Sometimes 140 characters on Twitter or a Facebook status is just not enough to get 'Stuff' off ones chest!

So much has happened since I last blogged on here and way too much to try and construct some sort of context for this latest vent. Suffice to say, here we are and there has been some stuff and some things and it has led me to this point in time,

The UK is a bloody awesome place with some awesome people. At no time in my life have I appreciated that more  than now in 2012 just after we have hosted (with frikkin bells on) The Olympic Games and the Paralympic Games. We as a nation really came together and showed the rest of the world how- Quirky is Cool -Music is the way forward- and nothing but nothing can dampen the British spirit.

It really pains me to say that we have done all of  this in spite of the worst government we have had since the 1980s. We are literally watching  our NHS fall apart in front of our eyes- small businesses closing, prices rising, incomes going down...local services being cut every week sports and leisure facilities closing ....and on and on...I could blog about all that but I haven't got time they may cut funding to the Internet ...as if.....
but my main issue is the way we treat our teenagers.

Facilities ( and I don't mean Youth clubs) for our teenagers are almost non existent and I mean medical services, Education. travel to school/college...parent support... again could go on but time is of the essence.

BUT my worst bugbear, my very worst annoyance, is that society has literally...

...stopped listening to them!!

We are teaching them shit!! Spirits are being broken!! Talented, enthusiastic, amazing children are being patronised, bullied and put down...not by their peers but by some of their teachers and mainly by a government filled with people who have never lived in the real world for a second!

Please don't get me wrong I fully believe the buck  stops with the parents. I am not a qualified teacher or a trained Psychiatrist but in this day and age I would have thought that stigma about mental health should not be apparent in our schools!!  How are we to break the cycle if the very people that are taking care of our children- for more hours in the day than we are- have no training or understanding of the basic problems teenagers face.

I am taking the radical step of deciding at the age of fourteen to home school my son. I can hear the gasps and the sighs and the 'Oh dears' from here but trust me at first I  felt that I had been left with no other option and now I feel that it is by far the best option.

Without going into too much detail I have been waiting for nearly eighteen months in the purgatory of the health system waiting for a referral to have a clinical assessment and not being able to have any treatment till my son is assessed. No shit Sherlock my son has got worse...he has not been able to attend school for a long time...his education is clearly suffering and so is he.  The Schools answer?..my son is an Enigma and education welfare?( just like to point out here that I asked for help from them in 2009) prosecuting me for non attendance. They should be fucking lucky I don't attend!!
The Doctors?  well they're just banging their heads against a funding brick wall....My son is not currently using drugs, stealing, causing criminal damage to people or property therefore he does not fit the criteria. He does none of these things he is unhappy sad and afraid sometimes suicidal. (one more point: mental health issues between the ages of 14 and 21 are the highest cause of suicide).
I've gone private...they are helping and it is looking likely that we are getting our referral. My son will be fine and will overcome any obstacle in his life because he has a Mum like me and loving siblings and friends and family.
Things need to change NOW.
I am calmer now...I shall drink tea..and download the syllabus for Maths GCSE....Oh but that's not going to be worth the paper it's written on by 2015......grrrrrrrrr