Being a 'Mum's taxi'? You're very welcome!

It kinda feels weird tipping up at the end of a gig.  

The bands getting their gear into vans and sweaty, exhausted fans outside still buzzing from what you've just missed. I do this quite often, come in at the end, to pick up my son from gigs all over the place. I never mind. 

I love how he doesn't stop talking on the way home, telling me all about it...'The drummer did this...we chatted to the vocalist....the pits were sick....' It makes me so happy to hear his passion for music.

You don't know the half of it....but I finally do!

Life can be challenging, that's for sure, and let's face it we wouldn't want it any other way. I have learnt a lot  over the last couple of weeks (yes even at my age)! I've learnt that single mums, mums, parents, are completely undervalued by society. We are the bomb!

When I get to work in the morning I have done a full day's work to get there. It is all about digging deep and I dig deep every day! My life should be the basis of a BBC 9pm Friday night sitcom. It has a farcical quality equal to Fawlty Towers.

The last few days have been difficult, many many children off school with a bug that took ME down, Ricky Hatton (or to keep it more relevant David Haye) style! (He's a boxer...right hook..left hook..etc. get my drift?)

Yesterday, and today I have been working from home. It sounds so easy but it really isn't. I was writing about unbelievably awesome rock legends whilst negotiating a full scale war in my living room over Scuzz TV versus CBBC as well as taking one to college who had 'missed' i.e. couldn't be arsed to get the bus as Mum is working from home therefore can take me to college.

It's a learning curve, I tell myself often, in fact 'character building' is the phrase I use. I have a meeting with my bank manager on Saturday I wonder how character building that will be.

My point is, I feel I really ought to get to it, that we need to change the way we look at people! Seriously!

If you are unfortunate enough to see me leave my car on the school run or nip to the local shop (I love my local shop, they don't bat an eyelid) in the morning, you will judge me without even meaning to!

I don't blame you I just ask that you take your judgement and stick it somewhere inappropriate and dark. You look at me differently when I am out for the evening and speak to me in shades of difference if you have seen me in work or chatted to me via email. You don't know I have five children and sometimes do the school run in my pyjamas, so you treat me quite favourably, without bias and often flirt!

I am not bantering on as a single mum, or a woman, parent or any other label. My point is...you just do not know what the person in front of you has just been through, so if their hair is uncombed (sorry what? a comb?) or they have a frown on, or they don't manage their usual smile that morning (or afternoon) take a second to think. It makes no difference to their skills, value or worth.

Rant over....

In other news...

Just realised I haven't shared my awesome news I left you with last time....so easy to get waylaid.

I found my (half) brother a few weeks ago.. a brother who I vaguely knew may exist throughout my childhood but had that confirmed recently. It really is the nicest thing. I grew up as an only child and now in my forties I discover my slightly younger brother. He is lovely. He doesn't look like me at all but looking at photos, there is one of him when he was about five that could be me! It's kind of weird but it's made my year! One really doesn't know the half of it...but I kind of do now... 

Don't judge and stay safe!

Not my usual post but a review I did on Tumblr for a really good gig I went to so I thought I'd put it on here anyway.

Secrets, Memphis May Fire and OM&Men Electric Ballroom Camden 10/10/2012

I’ve been to lots of gigs in my time but this was one of the best. The Electric Ballroom was a great venue a good size but retaining the intimacy of a smaller venue.
‘Secrets’ opened the set and as they started playing the floor filled quickly and the moshpit was as furious as you’d usually expect from later in the set. Everyone there was ‘up for it’ without a doubt. ‘Secrets’ set was fantastic, the band were great performers and began the evening with a bang.
Next up and after a soundcheck worth mentioning “Shit one two..Shit Shit Shit one two one two..” Memphis May Fire leaped on Stage and Matty Mullins appeared to a roar, the hands were in the air..and a few bodies too. They were awesome, the whole crowd sang and screamed every lyric to ‘Vices.’ ‘The Victim’ opened the pit up which at one point nearly took over the whole floor. At this point it was Insane in a really fucking good way. Matty Mullins was just perfect. This is a good start to their tour.
This was the first time I had seen any of these bands live and after Memphis I had no idea what to expect from the headline act. The gig was one of my best ever already.
I moved forward in anticipation of the arrival of the next band.
Of Mice &Men were greeted with a wave of screams and an utter outpouring of love that I’ve only witnessed at stadium and festival gigs. The London crowd drank Austin onto the stage who presented upwards in a halo of smoke and light. I don’t have many words for the rest of the night. Austin and the band give absolutely everything they have when they are on Stage and they expect the fans to give their all…and we bloody did.
Austin insisted that every single one of us got down on our knees for ‘The Depths’ the only time for a minute or two that the pit dissolved into a sea of people on their knees and the tall iconic figure of Austin towered over us…the song raged the crowd launched up and the frenzy resumed.
“One more song! One more song!” was the chant. We all knew what was coming when they came back on. “This is your song, this is your fucking song. I want you and you and you and fucking all of you to sing it” So we did. ‘Second and Sebring’ pulled me to the front of the crowd and that song that has such personal lyrics resonated with everyone in that room.

The UK loves these bands. Fans in the UK are like no other. The lights came on and the bruised and a bit bloodied crowd left. It doesn’t get much better.

Turning Forty - and that's not the main event! Watch this space..

So, I turned 40. That actually happened. I am now that age. Which luckily for me seems to be the new 30 apparently.
I celebrated with a night out, a joint adventure with an old friend from school, turned out rather well even though it involved a fluffy flashing tiara with the number 40 in diamante and several Jaeger bombs.

I know the band played a Red Hot Chili Peppers song and that made me happy.
What made me happier was the company, all the friends old and new that showed up and how fab it was to see them all.
I had a feeling that 2012 was going to be an eventful year and it's not over yet, but already so much has changed. It feels like it's all good and there have been dark times but from those shadows came strength and wisdom. I'm old enough to have wisdom now..
A few mornings ago with about five minutes to go till our time to leave for work school and childminder, I was in the hallway drying my sons school trousers with a hairdryer when one of my other sons announced that he had to dress as a Victorian that day. So I cut up a t shirt! That is a top tip by the way, it never fails on any dress up occasion. It then occurred to me that I had an incredible resourcefulness about me. This was a change from my usual thought pattern... usually involving running away with the circus..and that was a positive affirmation right there!
You may be wondering why I don't seem to be on my soap box this eve don't worry I shall continue to blog with that in mind. I have lots to moan about of course but there's a time and a place..
Anyway, watch this space, really do, because pretty much the main event of the entire year happened this evening and I can not wait to share it with you. Just have to share it with a few others first.
,

The Olympics, Music and the mental health of David Cameron

Well Hello...

Sometimes 140 characters on Twitter or a Facebook status is just not enough to get 'Stuff' off ones chest!

So much has happened since I last blogged on here and way too much to try and construct some sort of context for this latest vent. Suffice to say, here we are and there has been some stuff and some things and it has led me to this point in time,

The UK is a bloody awesome place with some awesome people. At no time in my life have I appreciated that more  than now in 2012 just after we have hosted (with frikkin bells on) The Olympic Games and the Paralympic Games. We as a nation really came together and showed the rest of the world how- Quirky is Cool -Music is the way forward- and nothing but nothing can dampen the British spirit.

It really pains me to say that we have done all of  this in spite of the worst government we have had since the 1980s. We are literally watching  our NHS fall apart in front of our eyes- small businesses closing, prices rising, incomes going down...local services being cut every week sports and leisure facilities closing ....and on and on...I could blog about all that but I haven't got time they may cut funding to the Internet ...as if.....
but my main issue is the way we treat our teenagers.

Facilities ( and I don't mean Youth clubs) for our teenagers are almost non existent and I mean medical services, Education. travel to school/college...parent support... again could go on but time is of the essence.

BUT my worst bugbear, my very worst annoyance, is that society has literally...

...stopped listening to them!!

We are teaching them shit!! Spirits are being broken!! Talented, enthusiastic, amazing children are being patronised, bullied and put down...not by their peers but by some of their teachers and mainly by a government filled with people who have never lived in the real world for a second!

Please don't get me wrong I fully believe the buck  stops with the parents. I am not a qualified teacher or a trained Psychiatrist but in this day and age I would have thought that stigma about mental health should not be apparent in our schools!!  How are we to break the cycle if the very people that are taking care of our children- for more hours in the day than we are- have no training or understanding of the basic problems teenagers face.

I am taking the radical step of deciding at the age of fourteen to home school my son. I can hear the gasps and the sighs and the 'Oh dears' from here but trust me at first I  felt that I had been left with no other option and now I feel that it is by far the best option.

Without going into too much detail I have been waiting for nearly eighteen months in the purgatory of the health system waiting for a referral to have a clinical assessment and not being able to have any treatment till my son is assessed. No shit Sherlock my son has got worse...he has not been able to attend school for a long time...his education is clearly suffering and so is he.  The Schools answer?..my son is an Enigma and education welfare?( just like to point out here that I asked for help from them in 2009) prosecuting me for non attendance. They should be fucking lucky I don't attend!!
The Doctors?  well they're just banging their heads against a funding brick wall....My son is not currently using drugs, stealing, causing criminal damage to people or property therefore he does not fit the criteria. He does none of these things he is unhappy sad and afraid sometimes suicidal. (one more point: mental health issues between the ages of 14 and 21 are the highest cause of suicide).
I've gone private...they are helping and it is looking likely that we are getting our referral. My son will be fine and will overcome any obstacle in his life because he has a Mum like me and loving siblings and friends and family.
Things need to change NOW.
I am calmer now...I shall drink tea..and download the syllabus for Maths GCSE....Oh but that's not going to be worth the paper it's written on by 2015......grrrrrrrrr

To blog or not to blog!

Haven't blogged for a while. Main reason being I've had such a lot to deal with over the last few weeks I've not been in a position to 'share' much of what's been going on as lots of it has been of a 'sensitive' nature. Suffice to say I have had to be a fairly strong cookie and have risen to the challenge! Go me, pat on the back blah blah blah.
Today, has been fairly unbelievable. Without going in to detail I have had some dealings with a school where a member of staff has lied to me about my child. Full on, bare faced, lied lied lied! I have evidence that is over and above proof that this woman has lied to me and the school are still going with what she has told them! I'm gobsmacked. Not a good look for me!
I have clearly been niave in my approach so far. I've thought that institutions such as schools which lets face it have a huge duty of care to our children would be the first to realise and apologise for a mistake being made on their part! Not so, they actually have presented me with a situation which means I will have to take this way over their heads!
I can be a fairly judgemental person I think....bordering on the whole 'no smoke without fire' thesis. I take it all back one can definately not judge a book by it's cover. Schools are failing, parents are failing and it's not rocket science as to why. My advice????? Always have faith in your child because no other fucker will. Listen to your child and Always always put them first,,,that is the only rule to parenting that works.
Any way I'm looking into emigrating to alaska....see you when the fog clears!!

If at first you don't succeed.....

Stupid week!
Washing machine broke down again so bought a new one. Men who came to plumb it in and take away the broken one must have thought I was a right nutter...eleven cats running around their feet, me blabbering on about launderette prices and a five year old asking them to get on with it as he needed to get to the toaster! Good job I'm not proud.
Had to jump start the car twice this week and take it on a long run to charge the battery seeing as I don't drive it enough!! I've been walking to school for two weeks which I thought was virtuous on all sorts of levels..swings and roundabouts I guess. Made up for lack of co2 emissions with aplomb on Friday as I decided to go to a supermarket I don't usually use as it's over in the next town but fancied a change (as good as a rest they say) did the shop and as I was at the till had a mini panic that I'd forgotten my purse, all was ok though the baby was teething with it. Phew that was close I said to the cashier 'What a nightmare! I'd have had to drive all the way home!' Of course I opened the purse to discover I'd left my card at home, so it WAS a nightmare and I DID have to drive all the way home, and then back to the store and then home again. I think I handled it with dignity though, that sort of thing can usually send me into a free fall meltdown.
Talking of meltdowns did get fairly close to one halfway through the week, lost two of the kittens (we have seven at the moment plus my four cats) for a couple of hours phoned the vets and everything as the boys had left the door open. Found them snug as bugs in the back of the kitchen cupboard. Then the following day managed to catch my thumb in the slide door, lots of blood, bit of a panic but still firmly attatched.
Good news story of the week is that I finally found the owner of the cat I found last week. Seems my poster campaign paid off, despite several of them being torn down, and I recieved a phonecall from the owner. Apparently the cat goes off for two weeks at a time so she hadn't been that concerned at first, it always comes back healthy and well fed so she suspects it has another 'holiday' home somewhere local. So there may be another person out there wondering where she's got to! However all is well that ends well and I'm glad I kept at it!
Suffice to say I'm bloody exhausted. Three of the boys have gone to stay with their Dad and one is out so very quiet this evening with me and the baby. Couple of glasses of wine and I forsee an early night. Haven't really seen the news this week but I understand there are some dangerous cucumbers out there..stay safe people!