Monday, 8 December 2014

Does anyone else find such solace in an IKEA catalogue?

There is something about the 'IKEA' catalogue, landing on your doorstep. Well something for me anyway. 
This year it was solitary.. A stand out 'fresh off the press' edition of this years furniture catalogue. There on my doorstep, like no other. Some years, it's hidden from view, a stealthy surprise,  under a pile of bills and flyers from estate agents 'looking for property in your area' and envelopes with deceptive hand written fonts that lull you for an uber second into 'I got real mail' security. 
I find it..and I'm excited. Disproportionately so. 

Sometimes I sit down straight away and begin to leaf through the promise of an organised and quirky house. Other times I prepare for the event... occupy or 'bed' all children.. Make a cup of tea or pour wine, setting aside this 'me' time.. Well...'me and and IKEA time'
I'm ready.. 
I'm ready for change. 
I've forgotten the 'alan key' issue (and so should I, my 'man drawer' is full of them). I've forgotten that white is not a suitable colour in my house. I've forgotten how small my space is, that the sock drawer dividers simply can't happen if one has only odd socks and ultimately I've forgotten the fact that I'm too scared to drive up the 'helter- skelter' car park in my nearest store. Though the smell of Swedish meatballs does have the 'bisto kid' effect and I follow my nose in an attempt to override my freakish car park issues. 
It's going to be different this time.
I'm going to achieve my goal, reassured that 'Billy' book cases and the 'Laak' table will still be within my reach. Comforted by the names, so very, very, comforted. A little too comforted maybe. I have no grasp of what these names mean but ignorance is a 'no understanding of context' bliss.
In this moment, it becomes beautiful, peaceful, mindful even. I can find a solution to everything. My toys, my teenage rooms, my photographs, my desk, indeed my space. It is the definition of inspiration! 
Before, I had shoes in my hallway and now I have a storage concept that cannot possibly go wrong. Unless, of course,  the shoes still get kicked off 'towards' rather than 'in' the answer to all shoe problems. I can lounge in a chair that hangs from the rafters....not worrying that I don't know what a rafter is or even if I have them. The free standing kitchen units are what I'm really after, when, of course, I have a kitchen.
To be fair, I haven't actually ordered anything this year, but that is irrelevant, not the point. You see, I know I can. 
It's there. 
The answer.  
When I'm ready. 
It's hope, in a book. It's not spiritual, it's not religion, it's not even gonna change the world. It's a promise, a safety blanket, a haven of intent. If you dare to go in store, all you have to do is follow the arrows on the floor, from room to room, all set up like scenes on a stage, with you and your family the main characters. No farce, no trap doors, bedrooms ready for you to live in....illustrated in point by my son's friend who fell asleep in an Ikea store, in a bed, and even the security on site that day just 'understood' because they just know. 

IKEA knows.

Dear, dear IKEA...I'm grateful, I'm engaged, this may seem a little 'tongue in cheek' but that's just me. I mean it and I thank you, you make me happy, annually. 

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